Thankful for the bad


As I flip through Instagram, Facebook, and other social media, holiday cheer is high.  News feeds are plastered with veggie-tray Turkeys, football memes, and awkward family photos (my favorite). Hashtag “thankful.”

It makes me glad to see an acknowledgement of the overabundance of wealth and opportunity that we’ve been given. As Americans, we are incredibly fortunate. Even our concept of “poverty” is ridiculous relative to much of the world’s standards. However, this year, I’m not posting my usual “so thankful for friends, family, and food” paragraph. Not because I’m not thankful for these things—I am. But because God is changing the way I look at thankfulness.

To be honest, I started this week unthankful. My heart was discouraged and laced with bitterness. I’m still young, but some days I feel like I’ve seen enough of the suffering in this world. My fragile heart feels like it's going to collapse when I hear about the refugee crisis overseas, when I see a friend lose a family member unexpectedly, or when I try to encourage someone who can barely hold their job because of a debilitating medical condition they were born with. Sometimes it’s just parting ways with people over differences in the important issues in life, or taking some flack for being willing to speak the truth. It can seem like prayers aren’t going past the ceiling, or that my concern for others can do nothing to ease their pain. “I’m tired of it all,” I told God.

And this morning He answered with Psalm 118. It begins, “Oh give thanks to the Lord, for he is good; for his steadfast love endures forever! Let Israel say, ‘His steadfast love endures forever.” I had never noticed this before: we should be giving thanks all the time, not necessarily for everything we have, but because God is good. He loves in a steadfast way that never ends. But… how do I know He is good? What does that look like? It’s not enough to just mouth those words.

I used to look at my circumstances and blessings as an extension of God’s love. I still think they are, to some extent. But so often we thank God for all the “stuff” He gives us, while forgetting that thankfulness stems from understanding Who God is, not necessarily what He’s giving us or not giving us. When life is going well, it’s easy to assume God loves us and is taking care of us. But what about when it’s not going well?

We should never judge God’s love for us based on our circumstances, on how people treat us, or even how we feel. Instead, we should turn around and evaluate those circumstances and feelings by how we know He loves us. And the only way we can know this is by zeroing in on the cross. Don’t tune out here. It's important. We can know that he loves us because he didn't just say it—He proved it by sacrificing his own Son for people who hated him. For people who abused him, under-appreciated him, and even denied him. He died for me.


Every time I am selfish and think hateful thoughts—He died for that. Every time I want to give up and utterly waste what God has given me—He died for that.


He loves me not because I deserve it, but because He is love! (1 John 4:7) It is his very essence to love. He cannot act outside of his love. He balanced his love and justice perfectly on the cross when Jesus took my place. He became sin, and I received righteousness before God (1 Cor. 5:21). How is that fair? It isn't. It's just grace.

Yet, I can still think, "God, you must not love me."

Maybe He has a different idea of love than I do. Maybe, just maybe, he sees a bigger picture than I do. He sees how my heart is getting entangled in relationships that will choke out spiritual need in my life, so he topples over that idol I’ve started building out of another person. He wants me to know from experience that "It is better to take refuge in the Lord than to trust in man." (Ps. 118:8)

He sees how important success in others' eyes can be to my identity, so he gently shakes my confidence in my own abilities when I’m misunderstood at the workplace or a student doesn’t respond correctly. Without it, how would I appreciate the promise that "The Lord is on my side; I will not fear. What can man do to me? The Lord is on my side as my helper." (Ps. 118:6-7a)

He is more concerned with my remembering my real home is in Heaven than being comfortable here on earth, so He stretches me beyond my natural limitations and strength. "I was pushed hard so that I was falling, but the Lord helped me. The Lord is my strength and my song; he has become my salvation." (Ps. 118:13-14)

I cringe to realize that often my response to his love is complaint. Or even worse, a mental tantrum equal to one that a three-year-old would throw over losing a favorite toy: “But, God, I want that one! Why would you take that away?”

No, God doesn’t love the person who has the seemingly perfect boyfriend or girlfriend, or who has enough money to fix his or her car, or who has great health more than he loves the person who lacks those things. And he doesn’t love the suffering person more than the prospering person, either! We cannot judge his love by what we see, only by the invisible promises of His character. 

How did Job, who lost all his family and possessions, utter these crazy words: “Naked I came from my mother’s womb, and naked shall I return. The Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord” (Job 1:20-21)? Because he realized that when everything is gone, God is still there. If we don't experience suffering, we will never appreciate the comfort of a Friend that never leaves, of a God who sees every tear, and a Savior who can empathize with our every weakness (Heb. 13:5, Ps. 56:8, Heb. 4:15).


I’m learning to thank God not just what I do have, but for what I don’t.

I’m learning to thank God for the the pain I’ve felt, and for the trials that don't go away. 

I’m learning to thank God for the "bad"—because in the end, it must actually be good. It must be part of his love for me.




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